WHEN YOU MISS SOMEONE!!!

When you miss someone that was once dear to you, it forces you to reflect on the lessons that person came with in your life, good or bad! Can't help but think that the person I miss now taught me the meaning of "a quality life"!!! 

Yes it was certainly never meant to be forever, that much I knew from day one... It was all fun and games! 

The long distance drives to Bloem and Kimberly was when I learned how the passion one has for what they do can and will determine the lifestyle one is capable of living....

The lessons I have about marriage at a young age stem from here, what being a wife one day means, what being a mother out of wedlock might mean for me, what being a mother will mean when the time is right, working hard and being independent before I can allow a man to be a part of that... I never thought that all these intricate teachings would come from this place of fun and games! 

I learned that the standards we set for ourselves are the standards we should live by, just cause someone will feel like you're overdressed, doesn't mean you should change your outfit! It's not significant words but they've changed my life significantly! 

The appreciation and respect I have is never ending! This is the place I needed to be in order to fully appreciate, experience, build and trust the place I am today... The beauty of planning is the most wonderful lesson I've taken from this place.

I live my life towards a phenomenal future with my people for you shared your story to better mine! Thank you:)

Who is that person, for you ladies? Take time out and smile in honour and appreciation of the knowledge and wisdom imparted to you! For it has changed your outlook on life:)

I'm forever grateful! 

INSPIRED, MOTIVATED, INVOLVED!!!

Why is it that women have this thing of comparing their  relationships with their men to that of their peers and their partners?

The thing with this craziness that overcomes women is, firstly, they forget that we are all different individuals and when we come together as couples, there is no way we can produce the same results... I don't know, that's just my take! It's like having bread and eggs and expecting chicken a la king from it??? Errrrrr??? When looking at it this way, sounds silly huh?!

But honestly, its as silly as it sounds ladies... You cannot measure the success or failure of your relationship with your man based on your neighbour's portrayal of her relationship... Sometimes we need to consider that we don't know what happens behind closed doors... For all we know, your neighbour is living a private hell and public happiness! It becomes very important for one to really accept their relationship for what it is... If he doesn't buy you flowers, it really isn't the end of the world because maybe he tells you how happy you make him and how much he loves you.

I think its all about asking yourself the following questions... Does he inspire you to be more? Does he motivate you to do more? Is he involved in contributing to a better you and involved in your relationship? Because ultimately, those are the things one needs in order to measure the success of the relationship. If he ticks all those boxes, i really think that everything else becomes secondary and also falls into place the way that it should...

We are unique, therefore, our shit won't fall into place the same way and this place that shit is falling into, won't be the same either. Your place could be a picket fence with 2 kids and mine could just be a long term relationship without marriage or kids...

So I say, as long as you are both inspired, motivated and involved, it is a phenomenal relationship!

ITS IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR.....

We struggle to move from the past and make peace with the past a lot of the time.
We allow the person we have been to rule and over power the person we are today...

We fear change so much that it blurs sight of any type of happiness we might threaten to feel. The past can be a hindrance to reaching your goals and living your dreams. The past has a way of paralysing your sense of self worth. It forces you to pass the harshest judgement unpon yourself. The past will strangle the greatness that is in you and suffocate the thoughts you have of a beautifully bright future.

You are not your past... Yes you may have done or said things that may have left you feeling hollow... But there is a deeper reason why you did what you did and swayed to the so called "bad decisions" in your life... It had to be done... It had to be done for you needed to take from it a lesson to equip yourself with the knowledge and wisdom you will need to tackle your today and direct you path for tomorrow.

Accept the past for what it is for it will never return... You just give it life and glory when you let it defeat you! You allow it to dictate your present life...
If you think about driving.... Its impossible to see where you are going when your head is always looking back... Concentrate on meneuvering the traffic in front of you, and the more you drive and look in the direction you are going, the further away you move from where you started...

The windscreen of your life is also big enough that you are able to see, tackle and decide on how to go about the traffic ahead and the rear view mirrors of your life, much like a car, just serve as a reminder of what you needed to pass through in order to get to where you are... Thats why they are so small, what is behind you does not matter, only the lessons they represent matter...

Live a regret free life for that is what you owe to your present and future life... If its in the past... Let it go... You are not your past...

You are phenomenal....

EVEN WHEN ITS CRAP!!!!

Chatting to a friend of mine this week reminded me of how much crap women tolerate, even with sex!
Which had me thinking how one could start a whole new blog about women's sexual experiences... But thats for another time!

So our conversation led me to looking up the dictionary meaning or definition of the word gyrate because that movement alone, can mess things up with a blink of an eye...

Gyrate /jirat/  verb: 1. Move or cause to move in a circle or spiral, esp. QUICKLY!

That definition for me, was enough to forgive some unmentionable characters because the definition does highlight that its quick! Anyway...
So as we laugh and exchange disastrous sexual experiences...
I ask myself, why is it that women are able to carry on sleeping with a man that doesnt make her toes curl, her knees shake and her cookie contract? Is sex, apart from reproduction, not supposed to give you a body contracting moment that sends blood rushing so quickly from your precious nunu to your throat and exerts itself in the form of a moan from an uncontrolably, juicy, heart racing outter body experience???...

Why is it that we opt for examining the ceiling or cracks on the walls when its crap? Rather than asking a man to stop... Are we desperate to be touched? Are we not confident enough to demand he stops? Are we that comfortable with compromising our standards and settling? Is it a sense of being wanted by a man that makes it ok?

These are some of the questions I had in my head and I just wondered how different things could be if women didnt fake it because if he is just a shag, why fake it? Do women then not give, as my dear friend says, "pity sex" a lot more than they think?
To think that when men are not feeling and actually dont want to carry on with it, they just stop!

Oh but we are phenomenal creatures... Even when dissatified, women still nurture men's egos! Our silence will forever cripple us...

GOLDEN GIRL

The golden girl is such a sweet child, beautiful daughter, responsible sister... Never disappoints!
She has never been in trouble with her parents or teachers or anyone for that matter...

When the golden girl grows up, she is expected to live a certain lifestyle, a boring one in fact, date a certain type of man and have a certain type of job! But no one really asks what this woman wants or needs... Everyone assumes their thoughts are hers, their expectations of her are her aspirations and their hopes for her are her dreams!

No one ever asked her!

Maybe she actually isnt a good girl... Maybe she is a rebel, a bitch, a fuck up, a druggy, a nymph, an alcoholic! But no one really asked her...

Maybe she loves being a mistress, maybe she is good at being bad, maybe just enjoys being with bad boys, maybe she wants to be with a woman.... Just maybe! But no one asks these things because they have her life figured out!

No matter how rebellious others may think you are and how much people pass judgement, YOU own your destiny and everyone else just plays a role in it! If it makes you happy and doesnt eat your heart and soul away, be it!

Let it feel right...

As long as you live a regret free life and you can sleep at night.... I dont see why you too, cant be phenomenal!

TRAVEL LIGHT

When you are alone with your thoughts, this is when you get to assess and scrutinise the issues in your life. Well, this is when you seperate issue from non-issue and determine how much baggage you carry that really doesnt need to be carried!

As women, we worry so much about other people's baggage and constantly forget our own. I guess it is harder to pick up bags you've packed because you know that whatever is inside is such a heavy load to unpack. When concentrating on other people's baggage, you need not unpack... Just help in moving the bags!

When you start focusing on YOU as a woman, you get to understand the importance and significance of unpacking your baggage! You realise you've packed people that hurt you, back stab you, people that find joy in seeing your pain. You have packed them so neatly and just thrown the people you love at the bottom of the bag so untidily they just scatter in your life.

As with packing for a holiday, when you pack, you pack the things that are necessary, things that are useful because of the luggage limit of 20kg per person on a flight...
Do the same with your life... Unpack the people that are unnecessary and useless...

Let your thoughts travel light! You deserve it because you my dear, are phenomenal...

Mwah!